You know what I wish? I wish that for just one day, I had a spouse that totally "dug" me. That loved me without conditions, that thought it was way cool that I'm all "into" art / being creative now that I'm not working ... that could just let me be ME, without criticizing every move I make (or for that matter, every move that I don't make).
I've heard of those men who love their wives, and who love them EVEN IF said wives are a little sloppy around the house, or a few pounds overweight, or if said wife suffers from a disorder like Migraine ...
I've heard of them, and heck, I've probably met one or two in our circle of friends. I think those men are remarkable. And I think their wives are very, very, very blessed indeed.
For tonight, I get to feel a tiny bit sorry for myself ... publicly.
One girlfriend says "oh, don't put anything on your blog that you don't want people to know". Well, like, DUH. Of course not. It's a BLOG, for crying out loud!
But her point was that I should consider NOT blogging about how my life really is ...
But then, what is the point of the blog?
I could just do nicey-nice stuff all the time (that is, if I even HAD nicey-nice stuff to post!) ... but then, where is the human interest in that?
I once had a dream - that it would be wonderful to produce an "ALL GOOD NEWS, ALL THE TIME" news network. A few of us talked about it at my old office, and came to the conclusion that GOOD NEWS just wouldn't "sell". People would tune in for about one or two little stories, and then get sick of the HAPPY STUFF. Shoot. That's just not cool.
Another girlfriend said "where the heck is all the complaining? aren't blogs for posting about one's pet peeves and such?". For her, I did one PET PEEVE post - once. She liked it. A lot !!!
I don't know. Maybe I just need to use my blog once in awhile for a good, hearty GROUSE session. Is that so unreasonable?
Believe me, if Mark had a blog - it would likely be FULL of complaints about me. In great and gory detail, I'm sure ;-) !!! God knows, there is an awful lot about me to complain about ...
Still, just for one day, I'd sure like to have that wonderful man that just loved me ... for me ... warts and all. Wait, NO, I don't have warts. Don't get all grossed out over that - it's just a play on words.
I'd like to say that I feel better already, just having written all the above. I don't. Yet. Guess I'll go fold some more laundry and ponder things some more.
Can I just say this? Right now, I'd be so much happier if we HAD attended our friend Andy's ENGAGEMENT PARTY tonight ... I was SO looking forward to it. Got all ready, makeup, hair, clothes carefully chosen ... dressed and ready to go. Came downstairs and Mark wouldn't even look at me - said he'd "changed his mind". Said he couldn't stand the idea of going with "a viper" (that would be me, I think).
So now I'm in my flannel jammies, feeling good and mighty sorry for myself ... a good cry would help most gals in my situation, but I don't even cry over this stuff any more ... it happens all the time, like this.
Ooooh, now I'm really working up a good GROUSE session.
I better go. Before I say something I'll be sorry for.
-- PM
Go Getter
7 months ago
4 comments:
I think this is just part of being married - I was married once, and it was like that, and now I'm not married, and no one says or does those kind of mean spirited little jab-y things to me... but here's the thing... its awfully quiet in my nice little house sometimes...and not much hugging going on, or kissing, if you don't count the dog.. . so I guess you take the good with the bad and write a few words to get past it, and then you go on... and tomorrow something happens that makes it all worthwhile. Anyway, wish I'd had a blog back when I was married to sort of get things aired out. You know?
THANK YOU, 4 rooms and the moon ... you have no idea how much your comment means to me (the morning after the night before). I was just about to "delete" this post from the blog ... glad I didn't. THANK YOU for bringing some "balance in thought" back to my world. -- PM, aka DAH
what can I say - they just don't get it.
Did you ever read the Four Agreements? I never did, but I know one of them was, "Don't take it personally" That's always my advice to parents who have teenagers, who are the masters of saying hateful things. I know it's hard to apply in this situation, but maybe he was mad about something else and you were the handy one to take it out on.
I've always said I'd be a FAR better wife and mother if I treated my family like I treat my friends.
...uhm you were ready and wanted to go. So why not just go? Isn't he allowed not to? You're a couple but who says you can't attend things individually? If anyone asked, "say I'm not sure why he decided not to come; you'll need to ask him -and then change the subject.
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